The Wrong Similie

O: Can I go to the bathroom?
Me: Do you have a bathroom pass?
O: But your eyes! Your eyes are as blue as the deep blue ocean.
Me: You still need a pass. And your sucking up doesn't even make sense because I have brown eyes.
O: Oops, I mean, your eyes are as brown as the stain on my--
Me: That's supposed to flatter me?
O: Wait! I wasn't going to say 'underwear'!