Dinner Guest

Every fall, teachers at our school hold individual meetings with our mentees and their parents to talk about strengths and weaknesses, set goals, and talk about the important things that will happen in the upcoming year. This year I offered to meet with families at their homes instead of at school. Most families still wanted to come to school, but a few took me up on the home visit offer.

When I was in STEP, we were supposed to do a home visit for our adolescent development case study student, but I never did because I was too nervous. This year was the first time I've been to a kid's house--consider me a home visit convert now. I have been having SO much fun when I go over to kids' homes. The first home I went to was the least eventful, but the girl's dad--who I'd never met and who probably wouldn't have come to a meeting at school--sat in the background and listened. The next one was awesome because M. showed me his room that he'd tricked out with all his cool electronics and computer programming skills. I think at first he was weirded out to have a teacher in his room (who wouldn't be?) but then just ended up proud to show off his stuff.

Last week I had dinner with two families. The first one was really fun because N. has five younger siblings, four of whom had dinner with us. It was amazing to see a "cool" 15-year old boy talking baby-talk to his 2-year old sister so she'd eat her dinner. The best, though, was Wednesday night's dinner at E.'s house. E. is generally very quiet and shy in her classes, even though she is probably one of the most brilliant students we have. At home she was a completely different person, taking charge of her brother and his friends and ordering them around the kitchen. She loves to bake, so she bake me an apple pie--and put me to work chopping apples, rolling dough, etc. After dinner while we were waiting for the pie to cool, she showed me how to play the piano, another one of her hobbies. I feel like I learned so much more about these kids and their families that I ever expected.

On one hand, I really want to push for all of my meetings next year to happen at home. On the other hand, I am worn out beyond belief. Most of the days this week I got home around 8:30 or 9pm after working straight from 7:30am. That's just too long of a day to have on a regular basis, even when it's for something so positive. I have been thinking a lot about what it would look like for a school to provide sufficient support and resources to all kids while also offering teachers sustainable working conditions. My school for sure doesn't fit that and I can't think of any school that does. This shouldn't be the trade-off we have to deal with. But more thoughts on this later.

Fabulous

This is how one of my advisees approached me in the hall on Thursday:

E: "Ms. L., I'm just so fabulous I don't even know what to do with myself!"
Me: "Um... I don't really know how to respond to that."
E: "I guess you're just so blinded by my fabulousness."
And then she walked away.

At least they don't have self-esteem issues like normal teenagers?

Mike Birbiglia

Over the weekend I picked up some CDs from the library and have been listening to them on the way to and from work. I just finished Mike Birbiglia's stand-up comedy show "My Secret Public Journal." You may already be familiar with Birbigs from his semi-regular/every-once-in-awhile appearances on This American Life, where I would dare to say that he is equally as funny as David Sedaris. I know that's a bold statement, but I stand by it.

I have been listening to this CD by myself, looking like an idiot because I'm cracking up in my car when clearly I am not in conversation with anyone but myself. While I'm perfectly happy looking like an idiot (thank god or I would have a rough life), there are all these really good lines from Birbiglia's stand-up routine that I keep wanting to use but can't because I don't know anyone who's listened to it also. The real point of this post is that you should run out and listen to this CD or at least YouTube some clips so that when I want to say, "I know... I'm in the future also" or "Like fun you will!" someone else will know what I'm talking about and I will look slightly less like an idiot.

When is Enough Enough?

L. is one of my dear, sweet, wonderful mentees. He is very smart and doesn't have much trouble understanding the content in class. He's very curious about how things works and loves anything mechanical. However, L. has a long history (his 9th grade year felt like an eternity) of not producing ANYTHING. At the end of the semester last year, he was literally still doing assignments from the first day. He went weeks, maybe months, without turning in a single English homework. In the first 4 days of classes this year, he was already missing 10+ assignments. Today in Spanish class, the entire class cheered because he had his homework packet out; even though it was blank, just not losing it was a major accomplishment.

As his mentor, I have taken an unofficial oath that I will love and support him and do whatever it takes to get him to eventually get him into college. When I say whatever it takes, I mean pretty much everything. Our school already has a lot of support structures set up--office hours, after school homework jail for kids missing assignments, month long extra classes at the end of each semester when kids can make up work, etc. Last year as L.'s teachers, we had MANY parent meetings, made him stay after school on Fridays, and even pulled him out of his elective class so he could spend time making up academic work. I remember him running away from me and trying to hide under a table because I was trying to walk him to office hours. At any other school, there's not even a remote chance he would've made it to 10th grade.

This year is not going much better, but I finally found something that sort of works: during his study hall period, which coincides with my prep time, I have been pulling him out of study hall, taking him to an empty room and sitting next to him to keep him focused. He doesn't really need much help; like I said, he's very smart. Rather, he needs someone to be there to remind him every 5 minutes that he needs to get back to work. He also needs someone who will put up with his constant whining about how boring everything is, how much he hates it, and how much he doesn't want to stay after school that day. I spend this time telling him trying not to roll my eyes and then organizing his backpack so he'll quit losing papers.

Like I said, this only sort of works. He's gotten a lot of work done with me, but he hasn't actually turned most of it into his teachers. He keeps telling me he forgot, which I completely believe. I am trying to teach him responsibility, so I have walked him over to his teachers on multiple occasions. Here is an exchange from last week:

Me: "Let's go, you need to show Ms. R. that you finished this."
L.[imagine a very whiny voice]: "I don't want to."
Me: "Come with me. Let's go find Ms. R., I think she's in her office."
L.: "Awww, I'm too lazy."
Me: "Too bad, let's go."
---We walk over to Ms. R.'s office. She is sitting inside and we can see her through the window.----
Me: "L., tap on the window so she knows you're here."
[L. leans against the wall, hiding from the window. I tap on the window for him.]
Me: "Ms. R., L. has something he'd like to show you."
Ms. R: "What is it, L."
[Saying nothing, L. hands her a crumpled paper]
Me: "What do you want to ask her?"
L.: "Here's my assignment."
Me: "What do you need her to do for you? What do you need to ask her?"
[L. looks away from us. There is a long pause while I gesture at him to talk to his teacher]
Ms. R.: "Would you like me to sign this off for you?"
L.: "Yes."
[L. gets the signature to show it's complete, and then mopes away]

I am at a loss about what to do with this kid. What else should I do? What else can do? I'm already giving up a full prep period every day, and it's only having a marginal effect. I can only spend so much time walking him from class to class finding teachers and coaching him (unsuccessfully) on how to interact with them. If I keep organizing his binders, it's hard to say whether he will ever follow suit, but he definitely won't follow suit if I don't do it. I am in constant communication with all of his teachers--mostly because about half of them come to me everyday to tell me what he DIDN'T do in class. I've talked to his parents, in person and on the phone, already at least three times this year. I do love and support L., both because it is my job and because he's generally a sweet, funny kid, but he's driving me out of my mind.

Where do I draw the line? When is it sink or swim time? I'm always been uncomfortable with the idea that some kids "need" to fail because what does that even mean? He has already experienced so much failure in the past year with every test he's gotten back, every time he's chastised for not having his homework, every Tuesday and Thursday when he has to go to homework jail, every time skips out of office hours when he knows he shouldn't. Would the massive failure of repeating a grade be the thing to teach him the responsibility he so severely lacks? At this point I have no idea. But I do know that unless someone comes up with some brilliant plan, it's going to be a very, very long year.

One Thing Teachers Should Know about You:

"I'm really loud. Positive!!! (Lk doctor Phil)"

Intro Letters

The first assignment I always give my students it to write me a letter about themselves. This is my favorite assignment of the year because they're so hopeful and honest. As usual, some of the things they wrote are ridiculous, some funny, and some heartbreaking. Here's a sampling.

Who are you as a person? As a student? What are your interests? Dislikes?

·         I really hate spiders. I believe they are pointless creatures in life. Their purpose is probably just another source of food for birds or bats or something. I don’t know why they hide in our houses. They have no reason to hang out up on the ceiling staring at you like they’re going to kill you the second you fall asleep. It scares me. [This section is more than she wrote about anything else]

·         I also dislike coffee for 2 reasons. My first reason is that it stunts your growth and I don’t want to have a deep voice and a small body. My second reason is that it has a foul smell.  

·         My interests are boys and learning more about geometry. [Mine too! We’re going to be BFFs]

·         My interest for this school are the IL, camping trip, new people, intercourse, and sports. [Sic, obviously. We call it intersession, but might want to reconsider the name. Might get some kids more interested]

·         I don’t like bugs or knives, for some reason I’m very afraid of them.

·         My current career plan involves being a synthetic microbiologist. [It never ends well when a kid in my class is already smarter than I am.]

·         My name is Y. E. and you should know me already. We met.

·         I love different types of food, Mexican, Chinese and probably a lot more, and I am open to try anything even if it ends with my face in a garbage can! [I will have to talk to this kid before he gets to college about whether to stick to this philosophy]

·         Well honestly as a student I don’t feel so confident. Some times I tend to fool around a lot when I don’t understand the material so people can’t be able to notice. [This is the exact observation I would have made of this kid so far, but I’m surprised he recognizes it so well about himself]

·         I am good at many things… including memorizing irrational numbers.

·         I really don’t like people who act like jerks or also beans because I just don’t like beans.

·         I would describe myself as a uncertain person as a student… My dislikes are when people think their so smart. [This made me want to cry because I’d already pegged this kid as someone who’s been seriously academically wounded]

·         If I was a bear and I was ordered to cut down a tree by an elder it would take me some time to cut down the tree. [?????]

·         I’m very interested in things that look interesting, if it looks fun and like something I would enjoy, IM INTERESTED!

What do you want to know or learn about the world? About yourself?

·         I want to understand the universe and humanity’s place in it. I probably never will, but I’m going to try anyway. This includes neuroscience and astrophysics and quantum physics and string theory and all of the math along the way. [Guess which student this is]

·         What I want to learn about would have to be the past when bows and swords were common items like 17^th or 18^th century. [Woah]

·         I am really good at figuring out problems related to school or socially, but at times I can’t figure out myself. That and girls! I can never figure them out, I don’t think any guy can in that matter. But I’ll just leave that to the experts. [I am dying to know who this kid thinks “the experts” are]

·         I want to know why I am a bit shy. [So cute]

·         I want to know why I feel dirty like all the time, even after I take a shower. [I don’t even know how to respond to this]

·         I want to learn more about alchemy. I am always studying it in my free time. I also want to know more about feudal Japan. Those are the things I love the most. [Woah]

·         I want to know why do I have to have a big foot. Why not a small or normal foot.

Your goals this year for Geometry

·         My main goal is not just to know everything, but to understand it in a lot of detail so later on in life I will use this knowledge to accomplish a lot. [How do I break it to this kid that knowing geometry is not actually going to help her accomplish anything later in life?]

·         I don’t like to achieve I like to overachieve. [Intense]

·         I would like to learn how geometry will help me when I’m 28. [Has he already figured out why geometry will help him when he’s 27?]

What have you liked in math or felt successful at? What have you not felt successful at?

·         One of the only reasons I do math is because you need to know it when you handle money and I really like having and spending money.

·         My worst experience with math was when I was too worried about my grade and leapt at the opportunity to memorize pi for extra credit… I memorized about 300 digits and lost my sanity in the process. I hated pi for it and when it was time to recite it I was surprised I got past the decimal at all, but I got 180 digits. I now know about 40 and pi and I are friends again. [Guess which kid wrote this]

What you think your biggest challenges will be this year

·         One thing I despise is homework. If homework was a country I would drop a nuclear bomb on it. [Note to self: do not antagonize this kid]

·         I think the biggest challenge for me this year will be trying to pronounce your last name correctly and remembering how to say it every time after I say it correctly.

What you need a teacher to do

·         A teacher would need to respect me as a person and not just look at me as another kid they have to deal with.

·         What I do not like is when a teacher judges me because I only did one mistake and then they think I’m bad because of that mistake.

·         Don’t worry, I can already tell from day 1 that this class is going to be fun! [Little does she know]

Anything else you think I should know

·         Well that’s who I am, now who are you? Ponder that!

·         Oh! But on Tuesdays (which conveniently was today) I have a very important theocratic meeting to attend to every week and leave a certain amount of time for homework, so I’m freaking out cause I just got back and started writing this last paragraph.

·         There are many things you need to know about me and that’s that it’s really tempting for me to write in text form while writing because that’s all I did during the summer text and write in text form.

·         A couple things you should know about me is that I often burst into song, I am obsessive over the color pink and I’m in love with Justin Beiber.

I was already in love with this freshman class before reading their letters--they are by far the most enthusiastic group I've ever taught. Knowing that they love alchemy and swords and have been hurt by teachers (and pi) in the past makes me love them even more.

Back Again for the First Time

First week of school, check. Only 5,000 more to go.

Monday was my fourth first day of school as a teacher (or at least quasi-teacher because I am counting student teaching in that number). The difference this year was that for the first time I was actually returning to the same school instead of starting somewhere new.  Obviously this was better just because of all the challenges of starting a new job. I'm so happy that I don't have to get new keys, deal with not knowing where to find paper, and guess which random first initial/last name combination they picked for my computer accounts (seriously, I can think of at least 5 different ones I've had. Nobody else has these problems).

But what was more exciting was that I actually know kids this year. It was so cute having former students come give me hugs and tell me about their summers. This week lots of them have come to me with help on their math homework because they're too afraid of their new teacher (he's a former Marine--I'm kind of scared of him too). It's a wonder how the haze of time can cloud their memories. "I miss your class!" they tell me, because now they're only able to remember the approximately two fun days we had. They seem to have forgotten about the chaos and significant lack of learning. Except when some of them were helping me give a tour to the new freshmen and Y. followed up every statement I made about rules with, "But you never made us do that." Thanks.

Coming back to the same school as a teacher is just like it is for the students. Freshman year they're all wide-eyed and terrified because they don't know anyone and don't know what's going on. As sophomores they're all excited to see their friends again and finally know enough to at least be able to pretend they know what's going on. I, too, am no longer so wide-eyed and am very much pretending that I know things. My 10th grade mentees have definitely made this transition as well. Last year it was like pulling teeth to get them to talk to each other. This year one of them reminisced, "Remember when we were quiet?" I could barely hear his comment over all the yelling. I've been told that 10th grade is the pivotal year when high school kids finally turn in to real people, but I've also been told this about 9th grade. And I expect that when my mentor group still can't shut up next year someone will tell me this is true for 11th graders.

It's good to be back. At least the 9th graders are quiet for now.