Thursday, January 27, 2011

Gay A's

Today after school I was helping some of the 10th graders on Algebra 2. I spent a long time with A., one of my former students, working on revising his final exam. A. has more than a few mathematical difficulties, especially when it comes to the grunt work of math problems. He understands concepts fairly well, but has a terrible time with calculations and simplification. Other relevant things to know about A. are that he's gay and hilarious. Less relevant (but still awesome) things are that he has bright red hair and frequently wears bright red pants. Just in case you were wondering.

Today was no exception on the hilarity. First, as we were correcting his mistakes, he could do most of the problems without much difficulty. He definitely gets stressed out during tests, which, coupled with his frequent calculation errors, leads to low scores. I was coaching him on how to calm down and slow down so he doesn't make so many minor errors.
A: "I need to figure out how to calm down before math tests. I think I need to take like half a percoset."
Me: "Umm... let's think of something else. Breathing exercises?"
A: "I need to take one of those classes for women who are going to have a baby."
Me: "You should definitely take a Lamaze class to help with your math tests."
A: "I would, like, birth numbers right out on to the page."
Me: "That mental picture is making me uncomfortable... How about yoga?"
A: "I don't do yoga.  Ms. L, you see how tight my pants are.  They would like rip open!"

Later on A.'s teacher was re-calculating his new grade based on re-doing some of the problems.  I was super-impressed that he ended the semester with an 89%, especially given that I'm pretty sure he never got higher than a B in my class.
Me: "I'm so proud of you!"
A: "Oh no, Algebra 2 is my only B. I only want A's. A for A________. Thank god my parents didn't name me Francisco."
Me: "You should be proud of your 89. Algebra 2 is one of the hardest classes in the school. An 89 is awesome."
A: "No, I want all A's. Gay A's. Not straight A's. Gay A's."

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Signs of Aging

This morning our faculty community building was a game of "Celebrity" with names of teachers at our school. When we got to the gestures-only round, someone was doing the "time out" motion with his hands. Nobody knew which teacher he was referring to, so someone jokingly guessed "Zach Morris." Everyone had a good laugh... until one of the student teachers asked "Who's Zach Morris?"

I don't feel that old, but apparently my cultural references indicate otherwise.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

I Resolve to Not Make New Year's Resolution

True, I'm not making any per se, but there are always things that I tell myself I am going to do or want to start doing more regularly.

If I were to make a New Year's resolution, I would definitely inspire myself with one of these amazing designs from something call the "To Resolve Project."

I'm having trouble finding all the submissions compiled in one place, but they're definitely worth looking through. Any maybe setting as your desktop background just in case you need an aesthetically pleasing reminder of what you promised yourself you'd do.

Monday, January 03, 2011

Return to School

Teacher 1: What time is it? 

Teacher 2: 10:15
Teacher 1: Weird, it feels like it's 12:15. Because I've already been up for 2 hours. 

Coming back from breaks might be the worst thing about being a teacher.