Starting last week I officially took over teaching one of our classes full time. This means that I am now responsible for everything from planning to grading and, perhaps even scarier, my CT is no longer in the room with me. Needless to say, the students have been testing me and I've had some pretty rough days. Yesterday I was fed up (again) and I said that the next person to get sent out of the room was getting sent to the counseling office with a referral. N., who I had already told multiple times during the period to stop talking and go back to his seat, got up to pull down the window shade and when it wouldn't go, he started banging it against the wall. I sent him out, feeling completely guilty because he wasn't being that "bad" and I was really just making an example of him. Fortunately for my conscience and unfortunately for everything else, my guilt was quickly relieved when he yelled "This is hella gay!" as he stormed out.
Then the fun part: Last night I got an email from my CT saying that the 9th grade counselor had called N.'s mother and she would be coming in this morning to meet with me. My CT wouldn't be there, and the counselor would only be there part of the time--they felt it would be a good time for me to establish myself as the teacher. Great.
Why do parents scare me so much? I told myself over and over that this was the perfect opportunity to get N. back on track--he's a super-smart kid, but his grades have been slipping because he goofs off all the time and doesn't get his work finished. Parents invariably want their kids to succeed, which is the exact same thing I want for them. We're on the same team, so why the fear? I guess it's hard to feel like I have much of value to tell a parent when I'm closer to their child's age than to theirs, and when I don't feel like I have any expertise in the first place.
Of course the meeting went well. N.'s mom never questioned my judgment or what I was telling her about her son. It was not the first time a teacher had told her that he talks too much in class. We both focused on how when I tell him to do something, it's because I'm trying to help him, so he needs to accept that help. I made sure to bring up the many things that I like about N. (and I think his mom was pleased to hear that). Everything centered around how we could support him. It was all very textbook.
N. was awesome in class today. The true test for him will be to see if it lasts. But the true test for me will be to see if how much I freak out next time I have a parent meeting.